A Bird in the Hand
Every now and again, one receives a gift that renders you speechless.
It was my turn today.
It was given with such wonderful intentions,
however,
that cannot detract from the fact that it is
quite possibly the most tasteless thing
i believe i have ever received.
The detailed resin work, the realistic colouring, the egg coming from the back of the bird that appears on first glance to be a swollen malfunctioning testicle.....
What truly seals the deal is the appearance of what was either
intended to be bird poo dripping from the seagulls back passage
or
an appalling lack of attention to detail
at the completion of the birds manufacturing journey.
A few things crossed my mind after I unwrapped this gift:
1. Why would anyone produce a seagull ornament in the first place?
2. Is there a secret group of seagull loving freaks out there
that encourage this type of behaviour?
3. Are they specifically into pooing birds ?
4. Was there nothing shiny and pretty that you could have given me?
I hate to appear ungrateful but WTF am i to do with an ornamental farking seagull? Anyhow, Onnie, you mentioned getting everything i deserved for Christmas.... apparently i am resonating birds having bowel movements in my universal energy.
2010 is now officially making me nervous!
