Monday, May 9, 2011

The Ol' Anal Announcement.....

So i happened upon this nifty site yesterday: BlackChampagne.com

Not quite as extensive as my previous lists but a worthy effort none the less.
Fellatio
 Address the court Blow the horn Gobble gobble Give a hummer Speak into the mike Polish the knob Meeting with Mr. One-Eye Play the pink oboe Yaffle the yogurt cannon (voracious technique)
Cunnilingus
 Airing the orchid Carpet munching Gamahuche Growl at the badger (to make noise while performing) Impersonate Stalin Muff diving Yodel in the canyon (to make noise while performing)

Slang for Semen Baby gravy Cupid's toothpaste Gentleman's relish Human bonding fluid Man chowder Population paste Spooge That tasty non-dairy treat

Slang for Homosexuality Bats for the other team Travels on the other bus.
Male Terms 
 Bone smuggler Back tourist Double adapter Fart knocker Lucky Pierre (the meat in a triple decker man sandwich) Poof Pillow-biter Sausage kennel (butt) Sneaky butcher (he slides the meat in the back door). Uphill gardener
Female Terms  Lickalotopus Rug Doctor Vagitarian
Beard -- Woman married to a (supposedly) gay man to help keep him closeted.  I.E. Nicole Kidman, formerly.
Frock -- Male equivalent of a beard, also "lavender marriage".  See Richard Gere for Cindy Crawford, if you believe the hype.

Slang for Farting Anal announcement Float an air biscuit One-cheek sneak (leaning to the side) Release a tree monkey from captivity Room clearer Silent but deadly (SBD) Shooting bunnies Step on a duck. To speak German Under-thunder
Remarks after a Fart
 Catch that one and paint it blue More tea vicar? Sew a button on that There goes the elephant.
Slang for Poo
 Admiral Browning Build a log cabin Burial at sea (stately delivery, I.E. w/o splashing) Bury a Quaker Clumsy brown trout (splashes upon entry) Chocolate shark (larger and fiercer than the brown trout) Chocolate iceberg Droppin' a deuce Drop the kids off at the pool Drop the Huxtables at the pool (Re: The Cosby Show) Knit a brown sweater Lay cable Montezuma's Revenge Put Nelson on the train (Mandela) Three-coiler (impressively long)
There's a disturbing strain of poo slang that's based on the presumed color similarity between feces and black people.  I had never heard any slang alluding to this prior to posting this page, and starting to get reader emails about it.  Yes, I led a sheltered life, though I didn't realize it at the time.
It's Coming!
 Aztec two-step Cowboy Walk (long, rolling gait required when the Titanic is just about to set sail) Got a turtle head poking out. (Said with a Fat Bastard accent, ideally.) Sitting on an elephant (often as a pre-show evacuation warning) Sour apple quickstep
 
Fingers in both ass and vagina
• 
One in the pink, one in the stink• The shocker• Hold her like a bowling ball

Whorehouse
 Knocking shop Poontang plantation

A woman (or man) who dies their hair, but not all over
 Collar doesn't match the cuffs Curtains don't match the carpet.

Skimpy male underwear
 Bag of golf balls Banana hammock Grape smugglers Fag bag 


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