So i happened upon this nifty site yesterday: BlackChampagne.com
Not quite as extensive as my previous lists but a worthy effort none the less.
Fellatio
• Address the court• Blow the horn• Gobble gobble• Give a hummer• Speak into the mike• Polish the knob• Meeting with Mr. One-Eye• Play the pink oboe• Yaffle the yogurt cannon (voracious technique)
• Address the court• Blow the horn• Gobble gobble• Give a hummer• Speak into the mike• Polish the knob• Meeting with Mr. One-Eye• Play the pink oboe• Yaffle the yogurt cannon (voracious technique)
Cunnilingus
• Airing the orchid• Carpet munching• Gamahuche• Growl at the badger (to make noise while performing)• Impersonate Stalin• Muff diving• Yodel in the canyon (to make noise while performing)
• Airing the orchid• Carpet munching• Gamahuche• Growl at the badger (to make noise while performing)• Impersonate Stalin• Muff diving• Yodel in the canyon (to make noise while performing)
Slang for Semen• Baby gravy• Cupid's toothpaste• Gentleman's relish• Human bonding fluid• Man chowder• Population paste• Spooge• That tasty non-dairy treat
Male Terms
• Bone smuggler• Back tourist• Double adapter• Fart knocker• Lucky Pierre (the meat in a triple decker man sandwich)• Poof• Pillow-biter• Sausage kennel (butt)• Sneaky butcher (he slides the meat in the back door).• Uphill gardener
• Bone smuggler• Back tourist• Double adapter• Fart knocker• Lucky Pierre (the meat in a triple decker man sandwich)• Poof• Pillow-biter• Sausage kennel (butt)• Sneaky butcher (he slides the meat in the back door).• Uphill gardener
Beard -- Woman married to a (supposedly) gay man to help keep him closeted. I.E. Nicole Kidman, formerly.
Frock -- Male equivalent of a beard, also "lavender marriage". See Richard Gere for Cindy Crawford, if you believe the hype.
Slang for Farting• Anal announcement• Float an air biscuit• One-cheek sneak (leaning to the side)• Release a tree monkey from captivity• Room clearer• Silent but deadly (SBD)• Shooting bunnies• Step on a duck.• To speak German• Under-thunder
Remarks after a Fart
• Catch that one and paint it blue• More tea vicar?• Sew a button on that• There goes the elephant.
• Catch that one and paint it blue• More tea vicar?• Sew a button on that• There goes the elephant.
Slang for Poo
• Admiral Browning• Build a log cabin• Burial at sea (stately delivery, I.E. w/o splashing)• Bury a Quaker• Clumsy brown trout (splashes upon entry)• Chocolate shark (larger and fiercer than the brown trout)• Chocolate iceberg• Droppin' a deuce• Drop the kids off at the pool• Drop the Huxtables at the pool (Re: The Cosby Show)• Knit a brown sweater• Lay cable• Montezuma's Revenge• Put Nelson on the train (Mandela)• Three-coiler (impressively long)
• Admiral Browning• Build a log cabin• Burial at sea (stately delivery, I.E. w/o splashing)• Bury a Quaker• Clumsy brown trout (splashes upon entry)• Chocolate shark (larger and fiercer than the brown trout)• Chocolate iceberg• Droppin' a deuce• Drop the kids off at the pool• Drop the Huxtables at the pool (Re: The Cosby Show)• Knit a brown sweater• Lay cable• Montezuma's Revenge• Put Nelson on the train (Mandela)• Three-coiler (impressively long)
There's a disturbing strain of poo slang that's based on the presumed color similarity between feces and black people. I had never heard any slang alluding to this prior to posting this page, and starting to get reader emails about it. Yes, I led a sheltered life, though I didn't realize it at the time.
It's Coming!
• Aztec two-step• Cowboy Walk (long, rolling gait required when the Titanic is just about to set sail)• Got a turtle head poking out. (Said with a Fat Bastard accent, ideally.)• Sitting on an elephant (often as a pre-show evacuation warning)• Sour apple quickstep
• Aztec two-step• Cowboy Walk (long, rolling gait required when the Titanic is just about to set sail)• Got a turtle head poking out. (Said with a Fat Bastard accent, ideally.)• Sitting on an elephant (often as a pre-show evacuation warning)• Sour apple quickstep
Fingers in both ass and vagina
• One in the pink, one in the stink• The shocker• Hold her like a bowling ball
• One in the pink, one in the stink• The shocker• Hold her like a bowling ball
A woman (or man) who dies their hair, but not all over
• Collar doesn't match the cuffs• Curtains don't match the carpet.
• Collar doesn't match the cuffs• Curtains don't match the carpet.
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