Well, here it is, the official guide to understanding the way of the woman. Not having revolting, womanly, moody, crapola, bullshit moods, i struggle to exercise patience with my fellow womenfolk when they are being complete C.U.N.T.S. because of their hormones.
However, having been pregnant twice with monkeypants jr. 1 and 2, i did for the first time ever experience the hormonal surges that produce temporary insanity, so i do get it a little.
Still i loathe it and have complete and utter sympathy for the lads who are suffering through it with their partners. So here is a handy little index for you to help you through those dark and stormy days.
If you can't figure out the chart then i could sell you a copy of my newest publication:
and if you are just a lazy pathetic bastard who doesn't really care (which by the way i pass no judgement on), then this is probably the best you're gonna get!
I can only work with what i've got and if you aren't holding up your end of the bargain, then i can't save you all! Try as i might with my handy hints for relationship bliss, at the end of the day you gotta put down the:
and pay more attention.
I know it's a big job i've taken on, but i live and breath by the mantra below and it calms my nerves every time. Feel free to borrow it for yourselves.
Have a fantastic, bitch slapping kinda week Logophiles - x MP
7 comments:
Are you sure about the wine? I heard chocolate was the safest safe option.
Safest safe is offering a massage.
paaaaahhhhthetic! - i'd much rather have a shag! now that's a safest safe for all involved isn't it? wimmin - i tell ya!
Now you're talking my language!
i am an expert in the language of "lerve"....... have you not noticed this already? :)
I bow-down before your wise and powerful authority, Ms Pants.
Bahaha - read that as "i bow down before your pants" and i was thinking that my feelings for you suddenly intensified! I still think fondly of you however, somfing or not.... i'm not completely self indulgent.
Post a Comment