Saturday, October 17, 2009

The Bearded Clam

"He was a bold man that
first ate an oyster."

Jonathan Swift

Following on from the shepherd post, i love this quote above. He was right of course. Who ever looked at the oyster and said,"oh yeah baby, lets get in there", was indeed a brave individual. The same as whoever said, i'm going to enjoy some hair pie tonite. They too were particularly brave.

Hair pie, fur burger, bearded clam - they are all amusing euphenisms for the hoo haa.

bearded clam
: Australian attributed to Barry Humphries meaning vagina or fanny.
from Roger's Profanisaurus - (

see previous blog article :

bearded clam - A very hairy vagina.
e.g. I had to part the Bearded Clam forest just to get to the sweet tasting flesh-cave

and finally instructions for anyone who is unsure
of what the hell this whole post has been about!!

On that point, lads or ladettes, if you are having issues with your success in the bearded clam eating arena, i strongly, strongly, strongly suggest that you watch this a great video by nina hartley porn star extraoirdaire.

She provides a how to lesson on exactly that! It is fantastic.
I swear, if you give head like this to your ladeeeeeeeeeeeez, they will be indebted to you forever. Trust me on this one!


skink said...

all men are experts at this, in the same way we are all brilliant drivers and great at barbecuing meat.

to suggest that a man might need some hints at how to do it better is like telling him he drives like a Chinese P-plater in a Hyundai.

Monkeypants said...

Yes of course skink, then consider this a masters course in the consumption of flange!

The ultimate fine tuning on a job already well done:)